A South African man got a lot more than he bargained for today on an internet site while trying to download what he referred to as “Porno Vino”. “I had been fantasizing about this little Vintage since the first boring meeting of the day so I went home and decided to surf the net with the hope of finding a site where I could download some of those wicked full-bodied reds and succulent whites” said Mr Voila in his Gardens home yesterday. “Suddenly, there it was, WineWeb’s tempting collection of sexy fireside classics!”
According to Mr Voila, that was only the beginning; “I realized that the wind-chill factor was affecting my will to move and then I saw it – WineWeb’s offer, straight out of my wildest dreams.”
Mr Voila continued to say that WineWeb’s offers did not end with a heavenly Pinot Noir. He explained that they deliver the very temptation you desire to your door, saving you from venturing into the blistering cold.
Rumour has it that the ongoing Winter Sale offers wines “at a steal” and reports that this month’s exciting promotion offers a mixed case of Raka’s three Double Gold award winning red wines. At only R 473.20 per case these wines are exceptional value for money. There aren’t many left so treat this as an urgent purchase! Click here to place your order now.
When asked for a closing comment Mr Voila replied: “…now if I could just find a site that can put another log on the fire…”
A day in the life of pre-historic man is reported to have centered around communicating in grunts, hunting, making fire, eating, hunting some more and then pioneering un-romantic ways of luring women back to his dark, un-appealing, rock-like cave. Still today, literature and theatre mock this simple-minded hunter by suggesting that very little has evolved, except perhaps the invention of antiperspirant deodorants.
Take the art of buying and tasting wine, an all encompassing seriousness that sets this wheel of mystery in motion begins after an auspicious tasting of hand-crafted boutique wine at a dinner party. Cue the age-old predictable art of pursuing the unsuspecting prey – this time in the form of a bottle of rare and sought-after wine.
Thus begins the first step: initiating the hunt. At the risk of taking sides (after all I am woman) I assure you that our team at WineWeb based the following findings on intrinsically researched data, none of which is derived from information passed down through generations in ways revealed by men like Dan Brown, who walk that fine line that separates courage and stupidity.
The primal art of hunting will be further demonstrated through our Wine-iac experiments.
Please note that in the interests of scientific accuracy, the Wine-iac hunter is not a volunteer, but rather unsuspectingly so selected, in order to preserve the traits of the alpha male instinctive behaviour. The experiment has been thoroughly researched by professionals in a contained environment and can be very dangerous if not monitored by other professionals in white coats with clipboards and glasses on their noses, so do not, I repeat, do not try this at home.
The experiment is a dinner party, found to be the most favorable setting for Wine-iac experiments. The prey is Audacia’s Cabernet Sauvignon 2001 which is surreptitiously introduced to the hunter’s olfactory nerves and palate.